best laid plans……. #21

A few days ago, I realized that we no longer have a microwave bacon cooker. I have no idea where it went and being old, I can’t say with any certainty that we even got to Florida last November with one in tow. While I scratched my head for a while about where my cooker might have gone, I eventually quit with that task. You can drive yourself nutty trying to remember something that just isn’t memorable.
We went out last weekend haunting the yard sales and thrift stores trying to find one and had no luck at all. Didn’t even see one. I guess there is no market for used microwave bacon cookers.
We finally found a new one at Bed, bath and beyond which we took home with us. The thing required that the bacon be inserted vertically between inch tall posts and when we looked at it, Susie asked how we would ever clean in between those little posts. Long story, short, we took it back.
While we were there at B,B and B, I found that they were having a clearance sale on Bacon Bowls. I asked the clerk what they were and she explained this was a gizmo that allowed you to make bowls made from Bacon. -And we wonder why obesity is rampant. – It looked sort of like an old time orange juice squeezer only you wrapped bacon around it, making sure there were no holes…. Actually, you know what? I have no idea how the damn thing worked but apparently, if it was done properly, you ended up with a leak proof bowl made from bacon just waiting to hold your scrambled eggs or your garlic mashed potatoes.
Even though the appliance was on a clearance price, we decided against buying one. Later that day, my daughter sent me a link to Amazon where I could find all kinds of microwave bacon cookers, including the one that I had returned to B,B and B. There was also a model that looked just like the one we had before it disappeared. However, before I could thoroughly check it out, I was interrupted by some friends who were going to Beall’s outlet store where a HUGE 15 percent off sale was going on and naturally, Susie wanted to go along.
We had no more than gotten in the place when I came across this little dandy in the kitchen department.

Microwave Bacon Cooker.

Microwave Bacon Cooker.

7.99 minus my 15 percent discount. Why not? I brought it home, loaded it up with strips of bacon, put the thing inside and turned the Microwave on. Bad idea. the microwave rotisserie is round and my bacon cooker is rectangular. When the thing started to spin around, the cooker got hung up between the front and the back of the Microwave interior and went all catty-wompus on me. If I would have let it go on, the thing would have spilled bacon grease all over and Susie would not have been a happy camper. -Get it? happy camper. She really is a camper although she’s not always happy.-

I have already ripped the packaging apart so it looks like I’m stuck with it.
Maybe I can sell it at a yard sale.

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About geetwo

I am a 69 year old (in 2009) retired I.T. consultant. My wife, Susie and I travel in an RV 6 to 8 months a year. I write a humor / travel column for several print publications on a weekly basis.
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One Response to best laid plans……. #21

  1. angel31260 says:

    “All I can say is calm down, try not to have anymore senior moment’s, it looks like you have everything there to cook, get the microwave, and don’t forget the eggs “

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