One of life’s mysteries – number 47

As I’ve gotten older, I have began to notice that I can’t keep my shoes tied. To tell you the truth, I don’t know if this situation just started or if has been going on for years. It could have been years because when I was younger, it was just second nature to tie an untied shoe and I may not have noticed that my shooe was becoming untied on a regular basis.
But now that I’m older, this situation has grown from a nuisance to a real pain in the ass.
Unlike my wife, Susie, who can just bend over clear to the ground to tie a shoe, I cannot do that. My poor, old arthritic back means that I have to find something about fourteen inches high where I can rest my foot in my untied shoe in order to reach the lace and put a knot in it.
Now, here’s the weird part. It is only my left shoe that suffers from this malady, never the right. I have tried to figure out why this is and have come to the conclusion that it is because I am right handed, allowing me to put more OOOMPPPH in the knot.
I have tried everything; double knots, new laces, a rubber band around the knot and even a prayer to St. Geppetto, the patron saint of both shoe laces and big noses. Incidentally, I have always found this to be ironic that the Catholic Church would make a man whose son wore only wooden shoes the patron saint of shoe laces.
Regardless of everything I have tried, nothing has worked and I am at my wit’s end. I may be forced to start wearing loafers althouugh I dislike the connotation that comes from that. I have always been a hard worker and pride myself on that.

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About geetwo

I am a 69 year old (in 2009) retired I.T. consultant. My wife, Susie and I travel in an RV 6 to 8 months a year. I write a humor / travel column for several print publications on a weekly basis.
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